No Politics For You and Funeral Showers

I want to avoid politics today. I am going to try write about stuff that has nothing to do with politics. Here goes.

The Oscars? Didn't watch them. Haven't watched in years. When I was kid the Oscars were a big deal. Now, who cares? A bunch of movies most of us have not seen, very often dealing with and glorifying social deviancy. I also heard that Michelle "Helmet Head" Obama made an appearance at the show.  That . . . oh, never mind. No politics today, no politics today . . .

The only movie I saw was "Argo" which won best picture. I have written before about that film, noting that it was a good straight-forward, basic feat of story-telling with about 80% accuracy. Not bad. It, however, was a politically correct film: no mention of Ronald Reagan or the 1980 election; featured an interview with Jimmy Carter as the credits rolled; and, of course, a couple of Hollywood producers were the co-heroes. I gather the libs were up in arms about "Zero Dark Thirty" because it is allegedly inaccurate in its portrayal of the importance that Bush administration "enhanced interrogation" played in getting the information that led to Bin Ladin. Suddenly Hollywood liberals are concerned about accuracy in films?!? Will we see Oliver Stone and Michael Moore put before the firing squad? Right. Deep breathing, no politics today, no politics today, no politics today . . .

My wife has been invited to a wedding shower. In the course of our lives we all have been to innumerable wedding showers, baby showers, retirement parties, bar mitzvahs, bachelor parties, etc. I want to propose something else: funeral showers. I wrote many years ago (reposted here) that modern science has moved us well beyond our design specifications. I believe that nature wanted us out of the way by the time we turn forty: notice that everything you need to avoid becoming a saber-toothed tiger's lunch begins to go by that age. We become a burden on the tribe. Most of us, or at least those of us who live in the scientific West and refuse to live "organic" lifestyles, can reasonably expect to live into our 80s and beyond. That gives us plenty of time to hold a funeral shower. I am not talking about planning your funeral--who cares?--or leaving detailed instructions on what you want done with you and your stuff (I understand that my kids want me to die on a Tuesday night as Wednesday morning is trash pick-up day.)

I am talking about holding a party when you're still healthy enough to hold one and making it your funeral shower. Gifts are to be expected and you should register at your local Corvette or Kimber Arms dealer. I want presents! I want to hear flowery and inaccurate speeches praising all of my inconsequential achievements while I am still able to do so. I think Vegas would be a great destination for funeral showers--and Nevada is a concealed carry state.

You see, this is what happens when I go cold turkey on politics . . .